047

Bad Ads
A short, pleasantly biased review of four pervasive advertising campaigns

BoConcept
The ads: BoConcept adorns their advertisements with phrases ending in "don't blame us."
An example: "If you think a chair can't turn heads, don't blame us."
The desired effect: Those in charge at BoConcept probably think that these ads exude confidence in their products' quality and affordability, that the air of confidence is sexy and alluring.
The problem: It makes the store sound like a bitchy absentee parent, which is not the vibe anyone wants in their home.

Washington Mutual
The ads: WaMu was ranked highest in the West and Midwest regions for customer satisfaction in retail banking by J.D. Power and Associates.
The desired effect: WaMu is proud of this honor, and they want to uphold the standard they have set for themselves. Customers can also expect great service from a company when their customer service award is plastered everywhere.
The problem: While thanking their customers for making them number one, WaMu pimps this award like they're Archbishop Don "Magic" Juan. Show more, tell less.

Dolce and Gabbana
The ads: Find the print ones yourself; it's more fun that way. Or check http://eng.dolcegabbana.it for the English-language version of their web site.
The desired effect: Glossy homo-erotic intrigue? I don't even know.
The problem: See above.

Jared, the Galleria of Tewlery
The ads: A string of creepy and/or pompous motherfuckers gasping to each other "He went to Jared!" "He went to Jared!" "He went to Jared!"
The desired effect: Everyone will want to bone the guy who went to Jared for his wife/fiancé/whatever's ring. Everyone will then wish that they/their husband/fiancée/whatever had the same elegant idea to go to Jared.
An example, which is also the problem: The settings are very formal events, things like galas, receptions, upscale cocktail parties. All of the characters place different emphasis on the line they deliver in series, like they're playing telephone with something shoved up their asses, and the whole thing makes you want to pee in their drinks Fight Club-style.

These companies are their best when they keep things simple:

. WaMu's customer service really is excellent, with friendly associates who have been cool to me from day one and no stewpid extraneous charges.
. D&G's products speak for themselves. I can't afford them, but they're cool, mostly, I think.
. And BoConcept's approach of customization and tailoring your purchase to your needs is exactly what design should be: individual.
. Jared, as you may guess, can totally blow himself. This company is putrid.

046

$2.5 million per day
the approximate cost to operate the USS Ronald Reagan, which carries as many as 6,000 crew members, while not in port

Damn, that's an expensive boat...

Source:
Navy saves teen whose appendix burst on cruise.

045

James Blunt's song "You're Beautiful," that is supposedly sweet mom-rock, came on a radio station at work (I didn't pick it). The lyrics are not only poor, with forced rhymes in his wheezing choking-on-painkillers voice ("My life is brilliant / My love is pure / I saw an angel / Of that I'm sure."), but they're also pretty damn creepy:

She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that
'cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'cause I'll never be with you.

So you have a plan but you don't know what to do? That doesn't even make sense, dickhead.

Here's what you should do: You leave this poor woman alone before her much more deserving boyfriend/husband beats the piss out of you. In public.

You're obsessing over someone you saw in the subway once? This dude must not see attractive women very often. I can understand remembering her, but this piece of voyeurism is kinda trashy and very alarming.

Sorry, moms [and daughters]; holiday-themed fabric-painted sweatshirts are one thing, but if you actually like this sugary turd, your crappy taste is also really uncomfortable. So stop it. Unless you really want to patronize inept perverts everywhere.

044

...dumbest fucking headline I've seen in a while:
Female suicide bomber dies in Pakistan
from the Associated Press via MSNBC News via MSN.com.

According to the AP article, this is Pakistan's first known case of a suicide attack by a woman. This is a story of desparation, most tellingly of the sad state of humankind.

And the goddamn headline makes it sound like it's from The Onion.

043

Though I assume certain recent advertisements are for people who can afford to pay for a car in full, cars do not make good Christmas presents.

They usually require monthly payments, sometimes loans, and must be frequently checked. This includes washing and waxing, scheduling appointments, checking the oil, all that shit. Who wants a long-term commitment for Christmas? This holiday is supposed to be about instant and temporary gratification! A car, like an engagement ring, is not a gift, not something to buy because of a seasonal sale...unless you're a moron, in which cause you totally deserve it. And a Merry Christmas to you, dumb-ass.

This is why iPods, cell phones, and things make such great, long-term Christmas gifts, until they become outdated like all technology. Really good, simpler gifts would include art/framed photography (not the tacky shit they show you how to make on HGTV on Sunday mornings), a peak lapel blazer (sorry, seven-year-olds, but clothes are cool gifts when you're older!), classy serviceware (the more substantially weighted, industrial/minimalist kind), or a gift card to buy music (because you really should pay for music).

So, family, there is a little wish list. Don't send me yours; I can't afford it.

And if all else fails, go to the wine/good beer section and stick with the classiest bottle/six-pack you can find. Don't even bother with a bow. Just remember: the holiday five-pack, like anything purchased at 2:30am at Wal-Mart, is an insult, a desecration of our (everyone's) most beloved holiday.

042

I want this:
Alessi Diabolix bottle opener.



And:

Congratulations to Matt Damon and Charlize Theron, named People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive, and Esquire's Sexist Woman Alive, respectively.

I really do like their work, the sacrifices they make and the principles they uphold for their craft. Matt Damon believes that the more you know about an actor's personal life, the less believable they are as a character (he's right!), and Charlize Theron went through some intense shit for her role in Monster. And the Esquire cover is simple and cool.

041

I don't usually post videos, but here's one that's worthwhile:
Garry Marshall un-Happy Days
via United Hollywood.

I drove through Burbank Wednesday, past the NBC and Warner Brothers and other lots along Olive Avenue. The WGA picketers were everywhere, and most people who passed honked their car horns in support.

Later in the day, I was in Ralphs, and I think I saw one of the guys in the first few seconds of that clip there. If it was the same guy (and I believe it was), his Audi TT was parked next to my car as we both loaded our groceries in the parking lot.

One great thing about the WGA strike is that *all* the WGA writers are involved in supporting the cause that affects them. Even if they're like Kevin Smith and admit that it doesn't really make a huge financial difference to them, they're urging the studios to come to their senses. Garry Marshall is picketing just like Guild members who probably make slightly more money than I currently do.

This strike is about their jobs and being fairly compensated for brilliant work that entertains billions of people. And just like you, part of that money goes to putting food on the table.

040

From MSNBC.com:
Oprah wept after hearing of alleged abuse.

I'm certain Oprah will fix this problem, and my thoughts are irrelevant to that article.

Oprah is setting an example, but she could be setting an even better one. My compaint is not with Oprah's giving; she has a right to spend her money as she chooses, and she gives millions to charities and her audience members every year. The students at the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls are receiving hope beyond their dreams, a new future, a new life. She is a huge promoter of the (PRODUCT)RED campaign/The Global Fund, which have served as a blueprint for me and several others at my college to raise money and awareness for projects which aim to transform the quality of life in Africa.

At a $40,000,000 cost with 152 students, Oprah's academy costs approximately $263,158 per student. You have to subtract salaries, operating costs, construction, upkeep, supplies, and other costs, but I still wonder why she built one school like this for so few when EduCongo builds schools for about $10,000, if I remember correctly.

The stores I've heard from Lou Radja, co-founder and executive director, are amazing; of his father teaching to scores of young people wherever there is the vast space because they have the drive to learn; of the difference that even my yearly earnings (which can make to so many.

I would spend the money differently, but unfortunately for me, it's not my choice and not my money to spend. You don't have to live like a saint, but you should give to something. The ethics of when to give and how much are as follows: Giving is a good thing. And that's why we can't talk shit on Oprah for building her academy, for helping people.

Where I'll give when I have a little more money saved:
EduCongo: http://www.educongo.org.
The Gentlemen's Fund: http://www.thegentlemensfund.com.

039

I read "5Top: Fall TV shows that should go away now" on MSNBC.com. Now I'll review these shows, too, none of which I have seen.

Cavemen: I lied; I did watch most of the premiere episode of this show. Aaand that was enough. It's a better idea than The Corny-Ass Singing Bee/Don't Forget the Goddamn Lyrics and worse than Roseanne.

That was a great show, Becky switching and all.

Big Shots: The title alone is presumptuous and arrogant. And annoying. I remember seeing previews and the flat characters talking about things that aren't real/interesting problems, and I thought, "Ya know what? Fuck you."

There needs to be no character-driven stories like this crap and more in the vein of Half Nelson, a gritty film that pulls at human complexities and multiple emotions.

Life: I think it's interesting, in a good way, that Victor Balta, the MSNBC critic, listed this NBC drama as one of the five shows that need pulled from the airwaves. Cops who spend 12 years in prison also don't look that young or attractive. Cops aren't treated well in prison, either. They added a $50 million settlement to it, too? This sounds like it just missed the mark of a story that should focus on redemption.

The Big Bang Theory: Who wants to watch nerds struggle with relating to women?

Again, if you're going to do a show about a struggle, you have to make the audience question things and really care about the characters. If I can watch Ryan Gosling do drugs in the school bathroom and also think he's a brilliant teacher and a good man, that's a fucking story (I'm referring to Half Nelson again). And I hate drugs.

Kid Nation: I have already trashed this in an earlier entry. Unlike the reviewer, I never suffered through an episode, and I was right.

Thanks to my cousin Jenn for introducing me to Half Nelson a few months ago. Watch it instead. And hopefully David from Roseanne (Johnny Galecki) finds better work.

038

I bought Donald Platt's My Father Says Grace because I meant to buy a Robert Pinsky book but didn't like the cover art. Next to it was a book whose spine said "Arkansas," and one of my mentors is having his book released by the University of Arkansas Press in 2008.

My Father Says Grace was released in 2007. The cover photograph is a Picasso. I was already buying it. I knew the name of the poetry series' editor. I had to see what James was following. I didn't know anything about Donald Platt.

Donald Platt knows how to end a poem and how to open a book. He knows how to write in between, too: "You see // everything for the first time because / it has become the last time" ("Compass Rose"). I should have placed that in context, I suppose.

The images, the lasting visions, are stinging. And by saying it that way, you know that I mean that I love them. Overall, this book is "about" endings, loss, deaths great and small. But it's not dirty or depressing. The book is not a warning against death. In My Father Says Grace, frailty is earned. Never is the real focus on what his father lacks because of dementia but on the fullness of life and the sparkle that has to still be there as his mind fights itself awake. Or maybe I don't know how to read about death.

The poems swell and contract, as Bruce Beasley said in his review on the back of the book. You are reading music, and Platt talks about music many times. So he would know whether to compare the poems to sonatas or arias, another word I'm stealing, or whatever.

You watch the effects of time and health on parent-child relationships. In poems like "Name & Address," you fall in love with the sweet father, a man nearing the end of his life as his memory is leaving him, one who never surrenders, who is still the handsome man in the wallet-sized photograph his mother keeps by the phone and is the little dude you want to protect on the way to the grocery store. Platt shows trauma that's not suicide, AIDS, sexual violation, drugs. I've read a lot of those books now, and I fucking love them, too, but this was writing closer to my own life.

I tried to finish that sentence in a few words, but it's difficult right now for whatever reason. The best way to say it may just be the long way: When I write my family into my poems, none of those four things appears. I've discussed with my mentors and writer-friends, half-jokingly, that I worry about having anything to write because my childhood and life are just too goddamn normal and okay. Platt shows how to do it. And right now, in late October, that's the mood I want to read and write.

At times, Platt pauses the world; while splitting wood during the fall in part of"Compass Rose," a circling elegy for the poet's beloved mother-in-law; at 35,000 feet above the earth on the way to the Indianapolis airport in "Ground Transport," the closing poem. I've tried to write poems about the stillness of flying home, and I'm glad I have someone to copy for that.

There are plenty of moments of melancholy, memorials steeped in social and political outrage ("Amazing Grace Beauty Salon"), but Platt reminds us that we are not so simple as to bury ourselves completely in our sadness. Playfulness ("Cartwheels"), tenderness ("Two Poets Meet"), romance, resilience, and tribute, in carefully placed intervals, bring the poems alive.

I didn't think "quaint" or "precious." This book knows that life is what the living do, and everyone is fighting for it.

This book is a chorus, a burst, wrought from love and fighting and unrest and the thing inside the writer that says, "Push. Write it down." Whatever it is.

I devoured this fucking book.

037

I love Notre Dame. It's actually part of my family.

The Onion isn't, but this is really funny, and courtesy of my brother Mark:
Notre Dame Football Announces Improvements To Its Storied History.

036

From Fox Sports on MSN:
Kimmel laughs off ban from MNF.

Jimmy Kimmel and Joe Theismann are right! Monday Night Football sucks now.

035

Carrie Underwood covers "I'll Stand By You" by the Pretenders, and it's simple and pretty. I really like Carrie Underwood; she has a great voice and I think her first single is great for what it is. I don't know the rest of her work.

I do know that she's not singing songs about being a redneck woman. Because...seriously, what the fuck?!

In other music news: The description on 102.3 Radio Free KJLH's web site for "Mid-days with Kevin Nash" is dirty and awesome:
Ladies, take a break from work at 1:20pm for an "Afternoon Massage" or have Kevin Nash sing "Happy Birthday" to you in his sexy sultry voice.

It is Kevin Nash's goal to make every secretary in Los Angeles horny as hell during the workday.

034

The theme song from The Hills is usually stuck in my head at work, which means two things:
. It's on the radio.
. I know what's been happening on The Hills.

If anyone ever needed proof that the episodes are outlined/planned, look at Jason's engagement announcement. The actors couldn't think of anything to say, and everyone in the scene looked bored with the situation. It happened at a crowded apartment party...but not this apartment building, where that dickbag actually lived during the first season/at some point. That's unrelated, but it's a conversation starter.

But I'm partly wrong here, about the fake factor. I learned while talking about the show with one of my roommates, a film editor and another of the embarrassingly hooked viewers, that I actually underestimated the level of polishing.

Some scenes are obviously cut in strange ways, which I knew, but if you pay better attention to the angles and placement of the shots, you will notice a lot of over-the-shoulder and reaction shots. The dialogue is then changed or added later. It's dubbed. They're fucking with you, which would raise ethical questions had I not realized these series were fake the first time I watched Laguna Beach. It was the reason I didn't care about the show, knowing it was unattainable, but everyone at Bethany under 35 was hooked it seemed. And I've just cheapened my hard-earned degree.

So, I moved to Hollywood to absorb myself into fairly dumb but shiny, fake shows starring rich kids. Actually, I started watching The Hills as a way to introduce myself to more of L.A. during my summer internships a year ago, and it's at least a little worthwhile to someone looking to enter the entertainment industry to know what's popular. This applies to me.

So there's another excuse. But thankfully, I'll never watch Newport Harbor. Somehow that semi-polished turd simultaneously bores and disturbs me.

Despite the bullshit that should be obvious, The Hills is shot beautifully. I really could do without hearing so much crappy music, but the presentation quality is wonderful, even if the characters aren't. And if I find a new episode airing, I'm sure I'll watch it. MTV fucking tricked me, and there's no sense in hiding it.

033

These were listed under "A-list Searches" on MSN.com this past weekend, as "Hot Topics":

. Presidents Cup
. Free Wi-Fi
. Boxed wine
. National Book Festival
. 'Knight Rider'

Boxed wine? Fucking Knight Rider? Is this real? Are people really searching for this shit?

Boxed wine and something involving David Hasselhoff do look hilarious together, but if you're going to waste time, at least try to read something interesting. I live in the entertainment capital of the world, and no one here cares about any of that. And everyone should obviously do whatever LA thinks is cool.

032

Tony Hoagland's What Narcissism Means to Me has moments that are brilliant, tender, sweet, biting, and funny, but I don't know if I love it. I suppose it doesn't matter either way.

I don't remember loving the beginning. I may have started reading when I was too tired to absorb much, but that was my initial experience, and every read is even a little different.

The book is from Graywolf Press, like Nick Flynn's Some Ether, which I loved for its tone, the way it turned trauma into something magical.

Hoagland's voice is recognizable, too, but not alluring like Flynn's. The style and form fit me, I think. The poems are mostly narrative, interpretations of a phone call or dinner with a friend, for instance.

But I made the mistake I often make and thought of Marie Howe and What the Living Do, because she is thanked in the book and a Marie appears in a few poems. What Narcissism Means to Me is not about that kind of trauma and change, not like Some Ether, either, which begin with a father sexual assaulting a daughter and a mother committing suicide, respectively. What Narcissism Means to Me, in general, does not cope with that kind of heavy shit. This is not that level of trauma and change, and that's perfectly fine, because I love a variety of poems, not just those dealing with stunning violation and heartbreaking loss. I just want to experience the same level of sting because of the writing, the tone, what the writer does to you, not just what has happened to the writer. Art is meant to affect or effect. Whether AIDS, for instance, appears in one poem or is under the surface of every one is not important in itself, but the way the writer makes the poems work individually and as a whole are what attract me to books.

I remember the beginning as having a vagueness that didn't allow me to love the book obsessively. It wasn't stinging me, the only demand I make on what I read. I say "love" a lot when talking about poems, because writing should happen from love in some way, whatever the subject, because writers love to create poems.

In "Rap Music," he has me hooked, then loses me with stupid, easy, annoying rhymes, which may have been his commentary on rap music, but then I love the closing. Hoagland never completely loses me, either. I never want to throw the book. "Suicide Song" describes the little details of life in which to find happiness and affirms the shifting mind of a poet as something beautiful. "Fire," the first Tony Hoagland poem I knew, is still awesome. But then there's "Physiology of Kisses," as preciously lame as it sounds.

The most common imagery is of trains and metaphors using them, but I don't remember any of them offhand. There is a typo on page 66. The last word of the book is "kisses." This is a problem. But what bothered me about parts of Narcissism is that I've seen my teachers and friends do it so much better, and their books are not available yet. This is only about parts of the book; Hoagland obviously knows how to write exceptionally and how to teach, but this book won't stay with me in the way that others have.

I can, however, recommend it. It's a book of range, of different lives and worlds we individually live and know and love, or have no choice but to do so, because we are alive.

031

From the Associated Press via MSN:
Silverman Still Under Fire For Britney Jokes.

But Sarah Silverman was right! That's why it's funny to say that Britney Spears has already accomplished everything she ever will at age 25, because it's true and no one has said it the way Sarah Silverman did after whatever happened in that performance.

Silverman called Britney Spears' children "adorable mistakes." That sucks for the Federline kids and all, but their mother is visibly fucked-up and repeatedly flashes her bare vagina when exiting vehicles, and she is estranged from her own mother/family. The home life of those two little boys seems more damaging to their development than does a comment by a comedian.

Sarah Silverman's comments are not on the same level as, for example, Rush Limbaugh accusing Michael J. Fox of exaggerating his disease. Rush Limbaugh is an unfunny asshole, and Sarah Silverman ranges from a little weird to hilarious. Britney Spears should never have performed or tried to stay in the entertainment business if she was going to perform so terribly, with seemingly no training or preparation, and not expect someone to make fun of her at the fucking MTV Video Music Awards.

Remember when she was dating Justin Timberlake? His career's kinda awesome now.

030

From MSN Entertainment:
Situation Normal: All Messed Up.

I realy enjoyed this article, with one exception: That 70s Show is still a really funny show, dumb-ass.

I had a great conversation yesterday with a friend, wondering about the next big thing. I obviously don't have an answer, or I would afford my own URL for this blog, but I hope it's not another show with ugly, expensive apartments like in Friends. If you're going to make an unrealistic show, at least have some sleek set decoration. If they can afford a multi-million-dollar penthouse loft, they can afford an Eames chair.

029

From Newsweek: Biblical Living: Following Every Rule for One Year.

This guy is crazy.

Also, though I am technically Catholic, I've read some of the Bible, and those stories aren't really all that great.

I'd much rather follow The Sun Also Rises, minus the heartbreak and dysfunction. My mentor, who is a Hemingway scholar among other things, has made that kind of trip more than once. Hemingway conferences are held in those European settings...

Larry, seriously, when are you taking me to Spain and France? I'll finish For Whom the Bell Tolls and the African books, I promise.

The end.

028

I wanted to see something new to me in L.A., so I went to the Museum of Contemporary Art (MOCA) downtown Friday. The museum at 250 South Grand Avenue is currently between exhibitions, so admission was free.

The super-industrial-minimalist chess set by Man Ray (seen here in a disappointing picture) and Joe Goode's Untitled Window Painting really impressed me.

I understood more of what I saw than I thought I would, but there were some pieces that confused me, such as a row of individual squares of mirrored glass, one mirror slightly smaller than the one to its left. There was also a large square painting of red and white stripes, which meant nothing to me and made me feel nothing. Whatever I was missing, I didn't really mind. There were plenty of art students outside drawing the sharp twists of the Walt Disney Concert Hall, so maybe I should have asked them.

Either way, it was nice to explore a little bit of downtown and see more of the city, even if driving downtown is slightly confusing.

027

I'm excited for the new Foo Fighters album, Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace, which will hit stores September 25.

The Foo Fighters are a band I have always kept with me. Ever since the end of Nirvana, I followed what Dave Grohl and Pat Smear and half of Sunny Day Real Estate, whoever they were, put together (I like SDRE a lot, by the way). I loved the self-titled album that Dave Grohl released when I was in fifth or sixth grade, and I bought my first ever band t-shirt with a glow-in-the-dark alien head on the front and the Roswell Records logo on the back. And The Colour and the Shape and There Is Nothing Left to Lose which followed were always, always in my CD Walkman. When my mom was taking summer classes at Kent State University, I would go with my dad every weekend in the family's Mercury Villager to pick her up or take her back. Ignore that I was a mama's boy. Middle school was really, really terrible for me. Anyway, on those drives, I would always play The Colour and the Shape, and that CD was one of the few things I had in the world besides SportsCenter and homework. Seriously, I was miserable. I loved that album, though. It made me forget about being abnormal.

There Is Nothing Left to Lose was released during my freshman year of high school, and I probably listened to it in its entirely at least four times a week. It was a really hopeful-sounding record, and I was feeling that and learning to live without misery.

I didn't buy One by One, but I own it because I have a borrowed copy that I'm never returning. I don't know that record as well, but highlights include "Low," which has a great vibe to it. In Your Honor, the Foos' most recent release featuring a second disc of acoustic songs, went largely unheard by me since I bought it until the past few months. I didn't listen to CDs very often in college because I really didn't have the time, so I mostly had the same one or three playing in my 1991 Civic whenever I drove. Now it's a different story, and the layers of sound on In Your Honor make for a great record. Some of the songs remind me of moments from The Colour and the Shape and There Is Nothing Left to Lose, the high-energy mixed so well with the sweet and sober.

The band grows over every release, their sound evolving and encompassing more and more moods and effects, but there's always something uniquely Foo Fighters through all of it, whatever that means. Dave's voice, in particular, by The Colour and the Shape, showed such a versatility that I knew I was going to love this band for good. Change and versatility and returning to the original energy of Foo Fighters has kept the band's music flowing and true to life. And it's hard to think now that Taylor and Chris weren't originally Foo Fighters.

Some bands are great because they are so groundbreaking and line-blurring that they cannot be easily categorized. Foo Fighters are great because they are exactly what I would give as my example of rock music.

026

From the Santa Rosa Press Democrat:
Nolan allowed to wear suit for eight home games.

This is an article from June, but it is worth discussing.

Mike Nolan, the head coach of the San Francisco 49ers, along with Jack Del Rio of the Jacksonville Jaguars, had to ask permission from the National Football League to wear a suit on the sidelines for a couple games last season. Nolan did it in part as a tribute to his father, and his reason for wanting to wear a suit is really nice, but irrelevant.

He will wear one for the Niners' eight home games this season, a compromise reached with the league. It's a little unclear to me, and Mike Nolan, apparently, whose decision this is to make, but it seems like it should be Mike Nolan's, not Reebok's or the NFL's.

What the hell does Reebok lose if one coach or all coaches on every team wear suits? What if Nolan wears an Armani suit instead of the ones Reebok designed for he and Del Rio last season? The Reebok logo is everywhere already. What is wrong with wanting to look professional? Coaching football is Nolan's job, after all.

Since it looks like it's the NFL's decision, it's ridiculous that any league would prohibit its coaches from presenting themselves as well-groomed professionals.

The NBA has a stupid, stupid rule which disallows players from wearing headbands, and the league makes them wear suits on the bench when they are inactive, because David Stern wants the players to look respectable in the wake of several image problems. The headband rule is ridiculous and won't solve any of the NBA's problems with image or conduct, but the NBA's suit rule is, at most, a silly inconvenience.

Major League Baseball still employs an old rule requiring managers and coaches to wear game uniforms, because only someone wearing a uniform may enter the field. I kinda like that one; it works for baseball.

But the NFL has no right to tell Mike Nolan or any other coach that they are not allowed to wear a suit, at any function. Do they want to be the league helmed by slobs? Even as a fan, I'm going to respect a man who's dressed for business, because I know he means business. The players, I assume, think the same.

025

From MSNBC.com:
Layaway, other changes irk Wal-Mart loyalists.

Wal-Mart customers are surprised that Wal-Mart, one of the largest corporations in the world, cares more about sales than about some of their customers' budgets. Company spokespersons in the article even say that they are pleased with sales that took place as a result of changes.

Many of the people interviewed in this article are upset because they can't afford the same Christmas gifts for their children. While I sympathize with living on a really tight budget (My family still does it), it might be a nice time to explain to impressionable children that the real meaning of the holiday season is not materialism, but togetherness. Even Santa is wearing last year's suit! But that fat bastard is happy because he's hanging out with his wife and elfin-workers.

There are easy ways to save money in your budget: canceling your cable television service for a few months, switching to compact flourescent light bulbs, hang-drying your clothes, and using appliances responsibly by unplugging them when not in use are some of the ways to save some money on your monthly bills, and to pay a little kindness to the environment. This is a small list of suggestions on how to save a little money, and doing some research will undoubtedly uncover a wealth of better ideas.

It's also not uncommon to find items at lower prices elsewhere, by the way. People should be smart and price-compare, rather than accepting a company's motto that their prices are the lowest. And low prices definitely do not guarantee customer satisfaction. But I never liked Wal-Mart, and no overhaul could change my mind.

I understand that it's difficult to explain to your children why they will have fewer presents during the holidays, and feeling inferior to other children who have whatever they want really sucks. But Christmas is only one day, and most parents pay for everything for their children year-round. It's sad that our culture doesn't appreciate that fact nearly enough.

I never had the best of anything as a child, except for soccer shoes (My dad rules!), and soccer and Legos are really the only things I consistently liked. My parents were good people, so I didn't care about owning nice things. And in middle school, I was going to be miserable regardless of what I owned, so I was fairly inexpensive as a child. There are still expensive things that I want to buy, but I'd much rather live simply and love what I do have in the small space in Hollywood that's mine.

Yes, it sucks that old people don't have fabric stores in their small towns, but that's not what I took from this article. Parents should know what their children actually really do like, and any child that opens presents and complains about what they didn't receive deserves the lesson they are learning.

So, Mom and Dad, when are you buying me an iPhone?

024

My friend Courtney helped me realize that I live very, very close to High Voltage Tattoo, featured on LA Ink on The Learning Channel. Maybe I should finally have the tattoos I decided I wanted when I was 17 (I promise, they aren't lame).

023

Republican senator and mysterious bathroom misbehavior specialist Larry Craig announced the following at a press conference today:

"Let me be clear: I am not gay and never have been," said Craig, who has aligned himself with conservative groups who oppose gay rights.

But...

In his petition to enter a guilty plea, Craig acknowledged that he "engaged in (physical) conduct which I knew or should have known tended to arouse alarm or resentment."

He also was required to stipulate in the statement that he would "make no claim that I am innocent of the charge to which I am entering a plea of guilty," the document said.

Can this dude read? And was "arouse" really the best word he could have chosen?

So, to be clear, Craig allocuted to a misdemeanor disorderly conduct charge as part of a guilty plea, which he now regrets because it makes him look gay. Oh no! Anything but that! Craig also talked about how much he loves his wife and cares about his friends, and we all know that only family- and friend-hating motherfuckers troll for man-on-man action in public restrooms.

The police report states that, after being taken in for questioning, Craig pulled out something and asked the officer: "What do you think of that?" Thankfully, it was his Senate business card and not his 62-year-old balls.

The full details in the CNN article of what led to the Idaho senator's arrest are...awkward to say the least, but this one is a gem:

When the police interviewed him later, the senator said that "he has a wide stance when going to the bathroom" and that was why his foot may have touched the officer's, the report said.

According to the CNN article, Craig has also been informed that the leaders of the Republican party are calling for an ethics investigation into what they termed a "serious matter," The aide said senators, who discussed the matter by phone, were especially concerned about the business card allegation.

See, Mr. Craig, the Republican leadership doesn't mind the gay stuff!

Well, most of them don't. In an interview on MSNBC, Mitt Romney compared this to ex-Florida Congressman/proud pervert Mark Foley (Okay...) and Bill Clinton. Wait. What the hell?! Bill Clinton?!

According to MSNBC.com, Romney said, "I think it reminds us of Mark Foley and Bill Clinton. I think it reminds us of the fact that people who are elected to public office continue to disappoint, and they somehow think that if they vote the right way on issues of significance or they can speak a good game, that we'll just forgive and forget...And frankly, it's disgusting."

Reaaally...Bill Clinton had a consensual affair with a female intern. Frankly, I didn't care then and I don't care now, because Bill Clinton never went on a crusade against unfaithfulness. Mark Foley, on the other hand, tried to fuck at least one underage congressional page. To quote one of the best movies to ever take place in L.A., he's a pederass.

Mitt Romney continues to impress the public with his ability to talk with his head up his ass and still have a perfectly combed head of hair. But for the record, what Clinton did is not on the same level of shame as lewd conduct in an airport bathroom or pedophilia. Fuck you, Mitt.

The full article about how much Larry Craig doesn't try to pick up men in airport bathrooms can be found here:
Craig: I did nothing 'inappropriate' in airport bathroom

If you want to read Mitt Romney stroking himself, the link is here:
First Read: Romney links Craig with Bill Clinton.

022

Everyone but Bush realizes Alberto Gonzales sucked at his job, even Alberto Gonzales:
Attorney General Gonzales leaves under pressure.

Gonzales also weathered criticism on several other fronts, including his support for Bush's domestic spying program and his 2002 legal opinion that parts of the Geneva Convention on the treatment of prisoners of war were "obsolete."

He also called them "quaint," if I remember correctly. A seaside villa in Europe is quaint. A postcard with a picture of puppies and kittens hugging is quaint. An international agreement that torturing people is evil is not quaint...dick.

021

Kid Nation, the CBS reality show that neglects the existence of Lord of the Flies, is receiving some backlash from a mother of one of the contestants:
Participant's Mom Raps Kids Reality Show.

...but that mom should have thought twice before signing a 22-page document for her 12-year-old child [or "youngster"] to be on a reality show. The show is such a bad idea for so many reasons. Who wants to watch 8- to 14-year-olds argue and do manual labor in the desert? They're spending time on a movie set for a while, not actually forming a real society.

American Idol, American Inventor, Hell's Kitchen, whether or not you watch shows like them, are at least contests aimed at creating a lasting career, but Kid Nation consists of a bunch of awkward little dorks playing house for a few weeks. Not that children should be creating permanent settlements; see: Lord of the Flies.

According to documents obtained from the New Mexico attorney general's office, parents signed a 22-page agreement in which they waived their rights to sue the network or production company if their children died or were injured. The agreement also acknowledged that the participants "will have no privacy," except while using bathrooms or changing rooms.

The last thing I wanted when I was 12 was $5,000 in exchange for my privacy. But at least they can piss and change clothes in private. And at least we learned that children, even when supervised by a production crew, will try to drink bleach.



Also, the new season of The Real World, which takes place in Syndey, Australia, is kinda really terrible. That one girl is so dramatic, and that one dude seems like a tool. But the house is awesome! I especially like the kitchen and the doors to the bedrooms. I still don't understand why everyone has a huge-ass bed to themselves, though.

020

This is not a review or a spoiler, though I will do both of those if you have or have not read this book...

I wrote my worst essay in college on The Garden of Eden for Honors Freshman English, because when I went to write, I didn't know what to say. I loved the story, the tone, the settings, the simple way it was put together to address complexities. And I couldn't write about it.

The Garden of Eden is my favorite Hemingway novel. I haven't read them all [yet], but I think he's at his best in the novel:

...The hell with tomorrow. What a way to be. Tomorrow. Go in and start it now.

He put the note and the key in his pocket and went back into the work room and sat down and wrote the first paragraph of the new story that he had always put off writing since he had known what a story it was. He wrote it in simple declarative sentences with all of the problems ahead to be lived through and made to come alive. The very beginning was written and all he had ot do was go on. That's all, he said. You see how simple what you cannot do is? Then he came out onto the terrace and sat down and ordered a whiskey and Perrier. (108)

Catherine is absolutely alluring in the first pages, and you just want to tell David to stay the hell away from her while he can:

"Don't say it. I'm getting hungry already and we haven't finished breakfast"

"We can think about lunch."

"And then after lunch?"

"We'll take a nap like good children."

"That's an absolutely new idea," she said. "Why have we never thought of that?"

"I have these flashes of intuition," he said. "I'm the inventive type."

"I'm the destructive type," she said. "And I'm going to destroy you. They'll put a plaque up on the wall of the building outside the room. I'm going to wake up in the night and do something to you that you've never even heard of or imagined. I was going to last night but I was too sleepy." (5)

The strain between David and Catherine lives in their conversation, and I learned to [do my best to] write tense dialogue from The Garden of Eden:

"Who is the third drink for?"

"Marita."

"Your paramour?"

"You really said it," David said. "I'd never heard that word pronounced and I had absolutely no hope of ever hearing it in this life. You're really wonderful."

"It's a perfectly common word."

"It is at that," David said." But to have the sheer, naked courage to use it in conversation. Devil, be good now..." (155)

The novel deals with several threads, among them the loss of innocence. The death of innocence in the relationship between David and Catherine is complemented in touches like the green children's cahiers in which David writes, and the passages from David's story about elephant hunting in Africa with his father and his friend. He hates the elephant hunting, and Hemingway makes you hate it, too, while respecting the methods of the hunt. Young David wants to avenge the death of the elephant's friend, and the tone is empathetic to the boy's quiet lashing:

I care, David thought. I saw him in the moonlight and he was alone but I had Kibo. Kibo has me too. The bull wasn't doing anyone harm and now we've tracked him to where he came to see his dead friend and now we're going to kill him. It's my fault. I betrayed him.

Now Juma had worked out the trail and motioned to his father and they started on.

My father doesn't need to kill elephants to live, David thought. Juma would not have found him if I had not seen him. He had his chance at him and all he did was wound him and kill his friend. Kibo and I found him and I never should have told them and I should have kept him secret and had him always and let them stay drunk with their bibis at the beer shamba. Juma was so drunk we could not wake him. I'm going to keep everything a secret always. I'll never tell them anything again. If they kill him Juma will drink his share of the ivory or just buy himself another god damn wife. Why didn't you help the elephant when you could? All you had to do was not go on the second day. No, that wouldn't have stopped them. Juma would have gone on. You should never have told them. Never, never tell them. Try and remember that. Never tell anyone anything ever. Never tell anyone anything again. (181)

Ernest Hemingway was the one who taught me how to steal from Ernest Hemingway:

Thank God he was breaking through on the stories now. What had made the last book good was the people who were in it and the accuracy of the detail which made it believable. He had, really, only to remember accurately and the form came by what he would choose to leave out. Then, of course, he could close it like the diaphragm of a camera and intensify it so it could be concentrated to the point where the heat shone bright and the smoke began to rise. He knew that he was getting this now. (211)

David Bourne is not ruined. He fell in love and married a really unstable, dangerous woman. Catherine could not handle being married to a writer. She kept trying to create herself as a boy and create him in her image. They are ruined like that.

David loves Marita because of his support for his writing. She says she isn't going to share him like Catherine did, but she was part of that, too, and I think David knows what this means. I think David really loves Catherine and appreciated Marita's enthusiasm and honest support for his writing. Her support seems honest, at least, but I don't know that.

David eats eggs at the beginning and the end of the novel, so something new is born; He is still fertile as a writer. That's what saves him from his ruined relationship.

I don't understand Madame Aurol's black eye at the end. Something happens with Monsieur Aurol that I must have missed this time. But it's okay. I love this fucking book. But A Farewell to Arms is my favorite, too, and I think I might read that next.

019

Here is one of the more fascinating yet sensible new ideas in the green energy movement: electricity harnessed from the public gym:
Public Generated Electricity, by Anthony Deptula.

This is especially relevant in a crowded city like Los Angeles. We can afford to switch to compact fluorescent light bulbs, but most of us know our solar-powered houses are still twenty years from appearing as our return address.

018

This past weekend, I was having trouble finding something to watch. And Oxygen was playing a special, "I Am Mandy Moore," about the promotional tour of her new album Wild Hope.

So yes, I started watching the Oprah channel.

I really, really like the songs I heard. They were very smooth and cool. At one point, she busted out her BlackBerry to read the lyrics for a bluesy version of "Candy," a song she hates but felt obligated to play because it was her first sorta-hit. I hate it, too, but even it was tolerable in that version, if you forget about the lame video and choreography.

And I did. I forgot about all of that. I forgot I was watching Oxygen.

The performance was taped at Comix, a venue in New York City, to an audience mostly consisting of women and girls. The style of the show was like MTV Unplugged.

I like a lot of things about Mandy Moore. She looks healthy. She acts normal on stage. She always has great hair. We share the same birthday [with Omar Sharif, Harry Morgan from M*A*S*H, Joseph Pulitzer, and Commodore Matthew Perry, among others].

Whether or not those are good reasons to like somebody, I would actually buy Wild Hope. Mandy Moore seems to have grown into a wonderful musician. I'm sure a lot of people like her. She can do blues, folk, or country if she wanted, too. The vibe of the record sounds really mellow and good. And I don't care if I found it on Oxygen.

017

There was a guest on The Colbert Report this past week, Andrew Keen, who wrote a book called The Cult of the Amateur: How today's Internet is killing our culture. I thought immediately of my mass communication class at Bethany, and how a book like this would have been great to spark a debate.

His opinion is that the blogosphere, YouTube, Wikipedia, etc., are just methods to steal content, spread poorly produced/crappy material and lies, and make people dumb. He apparently has been published in The Weekly Standard, which, judging from editor Bill Kristol's appearances on The Daily Show, is...misguided. But they were nice enough to give Mr. Keen a rave review.

I see some of Mr. Keen's points, but I don't agree with him on the whole [based on his interview with Stephen Colbert], which is part of why it sounds like a fascinating read. The internet, like anything else, when used properly and responsibly, can be a great way to spread culture and enrich lives. But we know that already. The internet is not killing our culture. People who put no effort into education are killing our culture.

If the spread of stupid videos on YouTube is degrading our society, is Mr. Keen also going to blame the other companies whose technology make that possible? Is Sony or Canon or whoever to blame for producing a digital camera that records video? I don't think so.

He seems like kind of an ass, and seemed really miserable during the Stephen Colbert interview. Take this post from the book's page on Amazon.com about another recent discussion he had:

In my Guardian newspaper debate with Guardian Unlimited's digital supremo Emily Bell, she outwitted me and then took me to the cleaners. My hunch is that I went in a bit cocky, stuck out my chin and got a good walloping. She's a tough bird, that Emily Bell. I'm not debating her again.

I hope he's not serious about not debating her again just because she "won," but at least he's honest, I guess. The debate can be read in its entirety here:
http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk/take_two/2007/08/andrew_keen_v_emily_bell.html.

Anyway, the link to the book on Amazon is here, including some of the posts sent to customers who purchased the book:
http://www.amazon.com/Cult-Amateur-Internet-killing-culture/dp/0385520808.

016

Britney Spears is still a trend-setter in the Ohio Valley:
Father Arrested For Driving With Baby On Lap.

015

The picture in this article looks more like a book or album cover than part of an announcement about Tommy Thompson ending his presidential campaign:
Thompson dropping out of presidential race.

It really works well.

014

I watched the 1957 film version of The Sun Also Rises last night and this
morning, and I made some notes. I haven't read the book in at least two years, but I remember it pretty well. My mentor at Bethany is one of the most important Hemingway scholars in the world [and that's awesome!].

The opening explains too much. There's also a stupid flashback scene that explains everything about Jake's condition.

On the whole, the actors are very old for their characters, which is really disappointing. Tyrone Power acts more like a news anchor than the complex, torn Jake Barnes. There is no desperation to give life to the tense love between Jake and Brett. Robert Cohn (Mel Ferrer) is not enough of a mild pussy. The characters often feel old and weary, not disillusioned youth. The Lost Generation [which, in the novel, does not include all of the characters], scarred and jaded though they may be, still have a vibrancy about them.

However, Ava Gardner, though she was a glamorous Hollywood starlet, is a very good Brett Ashley.

The close-up shots in the bullfighting scenes are so obviously fake, due to the lack of special effects and to protect Robert Evens from injury, that the film would be better without them. They waste time.

Everyone's hair is really, really shiny, which is kinda irrelevant. And the punches are limp.

There is no urgency in Jake's decision that, in the novel, causes him to sacrifice his aficionado status to make Brett happy. In the film, he does not forfeit it at all. He does not lose something so prized for the sake of possibly making Brett happy. The film cheapens the scene.

You can't include every detail when translating the novel into film, but there are scenes missing that really add depth and tone and empathy.

In Jake's scenes with Georgette, it is not clear that she is a working girl, and the character is given a little too much screen time. In an intervening scene, when Brett enters the Bal Musette, it is not at all clear that she is with a group of homosexuals.

The fishing scenes lack beauty and serenity. They are just there.

The "rotten," "technical" Catholic theme is absent from Jake's character. The god-versus-man overtones are lost. He does not go swimming near the end of the story, a cleansing and rebirth that enhances the final line of the novel.

The film ends with Jake and Brett riding in the back of a cab, but the final line of the novel had been moved to the previous scene in a hotel room. And they are not drinking; Jake is stone sober, and the effect is really lukewarm.

The ending is sort of vague, which is fitting, but it loses so much by moving Jake's final line. You just don't care what happens to Jake and Brett.



It was, however, much better than A Farewell to Arms, starring Rock Hudson, which was even worse because A Farewell to Arms is my favorite Hemingway novel.

013

I wrote this as a sample a long time ago (last week), and I forgot to post it. I'll [probably] stop doing that...

BROKEN PROMISES: LINDSAY LOHAN APPEARS ON THE NEWS, DOESN'T PLUG HER NEW FLICK

According to the L.A. Times and every other media outlet here, Lindsay Lohan was arrested Tuesday in Santa Monica after the mother of one of her assistants dialed 911 to report that she was being chased by Lohan in her SUV. Police added that the assistant had quit her job just hours before. There's no word yet on why Lindsay wasn't driving a Prius instead.

After being stopped at 1:35 a.m., Lohan registered a BAL between 0.12% and 0.13%, besting the California legal limit by at least .04%. According to Santa Monica Police Lt. Alex Padilla, a small amount of cocaine was found in her pocket, the Times reported.

The actress was booked on several misdemeanors and felonies, including suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol, driving on a suspended license, possession of cocaine and transport of a narcotic, police said Tuesday morning. These charges against Lohan are agreeably not as original as Michael Vick's federal dogfighting charges. A police press release later in the day failed to mention the narcotic transport allegation, though it's hard to keep track of details like that with the blonde mug shot circulating everywhere like it's following you.

According to the Times, Lohan was released at 6:20 a.m. after posting $25,000 bond. No reports mentioned if she was allowed to keep the cocaine.

Her arrest comes just two weeks after she completed her most recent stint in rehab at Promises, an upscale rehabilitation center in Malibu, which followed a DUI-related crash in Beverly Hills.

Meanwhile, her father, Michael Lohan, has been loving enough to appear on every. single. outlet. he. can. This latest turn in the starlet's downward spiral might be severely devastating to her career, but it's been great for her dad's!

Michael Lohan will be more popular and more loved than the Beckhams in no time, as he tells Fox News' Hannity and Colmes (I told you, *every* show he can!) that she's all that's ever mattered to him, not her career or her stardom. I wonder how many other people have told her that...

Mr. Lohan also told OK! Magazine, "Lindsay is my daughter, I love her to death. You know if I could serve the time for her in jail I would myself, if they allowed me to I would. If I could die for my kids I would. I gladly, without a blink of an eye, give my life for my children. And that's what it's about, loving my kids."

These comments appeared in the same interview in which Mr. Lohan dismissed his younger daughter Ali's claims that he was "never there" for the family.

...Maybe he loves her for speaking her mind? He continues in the interview, confusingly, "For Ali to say that I was never there and I'm lying...People who have known us for 25 years know that I have always there for my kids. These lies have got to stop because they are having an effect on my children. We don't realize in life is that what I do affects my kids." So maybe mom's the one who sucks at parenting!

After Lindsay's crash in Beverly Hills, Mr. Lohan had suggested that Lindsay's "cool mom" stereotype, his ex-wife Dina, was a problem, and that she and their daughter should enter rehab together. Now he's saying that without a mother and a father with her in L.A., Lindsay is just in with the wrong crowd. It doesn't seem like the crowd at home has been all that impressive, either.

The hilariously frustrating 911 call can be heard on TMZ.com.

Lindsay is, not surprisingly, pleading innocent to all charges, which is the second most popular Hollywood legal term to "irreconcilable differences."

By the way, the horror/thriller flick starring Lindsay Lohan is called I Know Who Killed Me, and it opens Friday.

012

Hugo Chavez is right: Mystic River is an awesome film. The Dennis Lehane novel on which it is based is supposedly amazing, too. I think I own it, but I withdrew from a class before it was assigned.

I really respect Sean Penn, for visiting places that no one else does, going
alone and unannounced, to actually see how people live. And he's a gifted actor.

The entire article is here:
Sean Penn Praised by Venezuela's Chavez.

011

I read this yesterday:
Listen to the Locust: 'It ain't what it used to be' and other myths of L.A., by John Powers. I posted it for all of my friends who make fun of L.A., which is most of them, because I love this city. And it's a good read!

010

Please read this: Judge Mooney on BET!.

Thank you. This sounds like a great idea.

There are casting call advertisements on Facebook and Craigslist as well.

009

I read this article yesterday afternoon by Los Angeles Times staff writer Alana Semuels:
Preacher sues '20/20,' alleging defamation.

Defamation is one thing. And 20/20 should have had more sense than to think that a preacher would actually brag to his congregation that he lives in a 25-room mansion, owns a $6-million yacht, and has his own private jet, helicopter, and seven luxury cars, but I wasn't there when they did their research.

This, however, is ridiculous:
On Sunday, Angela Evans, one of Price's daughters and the president of the church, said in a speech during the regular service that the program was "dishonest, defamatory and simply filled with blatant lies," and that her father "feels like he's been raped." She received a standing ovation.

Is "raped" really the best analogy here? It sounds like Reverend Price was made to look like an extravagant asshole, not the victim of a hateful act of sexual violence. Looking like a douchebag to 7.5 million viewers is not the same kind of shame.

008

This discussion thread about the Prada store in Beverly Hills was entertaining: http://www.archinect.com/forum/threads.php?id=51632_0_42_0_C.

The displays on the staircases do seem fun to me. Before our attic was [supposedly] finished, we used to store things like that in the closet of steps in my room when I was little.

I think the buildings on Rodeo Drive are, for the most part, sleek and industrial-looking and nice, and sometimes interesting, but I've never felt impressed by Rodeo. I really don't like Beverly Hills in general. It's like an emotional vacuum. I think all the elements of the stores and restaurants work against each other so that the vibe of the area is just kinda...blank. Or maybe it's the people, busy or stressed or old and botoxed.

Maybe it is different at night, vibrant and alive. But I worked in Beverly Hills 40 hours per week last summer and am currently temping there part-time, and there is still something completely mediocre about it for me. And I know about mediocrity; I am from Ohio [and I love Ohio].



I do like Machos Tacos (1670 N. Vermont Ave.) in Los Feliz. Here is a funny review of it:
http://www.lataco.com/taco/machos-tacos-los-feliz. I didn't have to wait that long the three times I have gone there, which were in the mid- to late- afternoon, and I never ate in the garden area, only on the car wash side.

And to me, its name and location next to a car wash are fucking great.

007

It's that time of the month...I needed a haircut. And because I'm somewhat vain, I'm going to write about it.

The last time I had one, I lived in Ohio, so it was a little more than a month ago. I actually researched some over the past week or so, reading the forums at Style.com and looking at the Supercuts web site.

I never thought I would want to look like Harry Potter, but Daniel Radcliffe's hairstyle on the cover of the August 2007 issue of Details is what I try to do. Click here for the article.

So I went to the Supercuts near my apartment [where I still don't live yet], and it was quick, simple, and the women were very friendly. It only cost me $20 including tip.

006

I recently went to the MOCA (Museum of Contemporary Art) store in Santa Monica and saw a black and white postcard of the Hollywood sign and absolutely fell in love with it, as much as you can with a photograph, anyway. Charlie Bidwell has also photographed other famous places, like the Statue of Liberty and Park Avenue, and signs [in color] from many recognizable brands. The postcards are sort of oddly priced, with 5 cards with envelope for $10, 10 for $35, and 20 for $60, but they're worth it. I paid $5 for one and don't regret it. I sent it to my parents.

Also during that trip to the MOCA store, I bought "Catholic pills" and mailed them to my brothers. I can't remember the other fake pills exactly, but I think one of them was "Is your son gay?" I didn't see any of these things during my last trip to Santa Monica.

And I had no idea public nudity was still legal in the United States: Vermont town considers banning nudity...I had more to say, but it was just gross.

005

I just watched The Last Kiss. Yesterday, I read an article by Ian Daly entitled "The New Infidelity." And all of that was pretty devastating.

But, I definitely recommend The Last Kiss. It is very well written, so well shot (I love the colors and settings), and Jacinda Barrett and Casey Affleck are particularly amazing. When I was ten years old and watched The Real World: London, Jacinda Barrett was my favorite cast member.

I am a terrible writer of reviews.

I also really want to see The Namesake, because I love that book.

004

The pope is a true asshole: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/6289014.stm.

Not only are other Christians told they are inferior to Catholics, but what message does this send to Hindus, Muslims, Buddhists, and everyone else?

I don't remember there ever being an agnostic version of the Crusades. Please enlighten me if I am mistaken.

003

I finished Autobiography of Red, a novel in verse by Anne Carson, which was one of the strangest books I have read. But I'm really glad I read it, on James' suggestion. I see what is so appealing about it. Anne Carson's metaphors and use of language is brilliant at times. She pulls from the irrational and turns it clear and back and forth. The irrational becomes vivid, and the concrete becomes mystical. And of course the way she adapted the myth was really fun.

002

This is absurd/wrong. The poverty gap in Russia seems more shocking than ours.

Speaking of absurd and wrong, Bush basically told America to go fuck themselves [again!] with the commuting of Scooter Libby's sentence, whatever that exactly
means. Apparently outing a CIA operative is no longer a criminal offense.

001

Sometimes GQ and Details seem to push things that aren't necessary. This is not one of those times.

Tailor-made suits are great, but I'm not wealthy enough to afford those right now. Tailor-made closets might be expensive, too, but California Closets makes something that really is necessary, functional, everyday. And beautiful.

They offer variety, customization based on your needs, and a sleek, clean look. Minimalists don't need a closet with space for 100 shirts; Space for 20 might do it, or 10. A small stack of my recent reads would be lovely there, too; Mark Doty and Louise Gluck look out of place just left on a side table, and I don't want to dig through the clusterfuck in my bag to find them, either.

It's always nice to find function, style, and space working perfectly together.