032

Tony Hoagland's What Narcissism Means to Me has moments that are brilliant, tender, sweet, biting, and funny, but I don't know if I love it. I suppose it doesn't matter either way.

I don't remember loving the beginning. I may have started reading when I was too tired to absorb much, but that was my initial experience, and every read is even a little different.

The book is from Graywolf Press, like Nick Flynn's Some Ether, which I loved for its tone, the way it turned trauma into something magical.

Hoagland's voice is recognizable, too, but not alluring like Flynn's. The style and form fit me, I think. The poems are mostly narrative, interpretations of a phone call or dinner with a friend, for instance.

But I made the mistake I often make and thought of Marie Howe and What the Living Do, because she is thanked in the book and a Marie appears in a few poems. What Narcissism Means to Me is not about that kind of trauma and change, not like Some Ether, either, which begin with a father sexual assaulting a daughter and a mother committing suicide, respectively. What Narcissism Means to Me, in general, does not cope with that kind of heavy shit. This is not that level of trauma and change, and that's perfectly fine, because I love a variety of poems, not just those dealing with stunning violation and heartbreaking loss. I just want to experience the same level of sting because of the writing, the tone, what the writer does to you, not just what has happened to the writer. Art is meant to affect or effect. Whether AIDS, for instance, appears in one poem or is under the surface of every one is not important in itself, but the way the writer makes the poems work individually and as a whole are what attract me to books.

I remember the beginning as having a vagueness that didn't allow me to love the book obsessively. It wasn't stinging me, the only demand I make on what I read. I say "love" a lot when talking about poems, because writing should happen from love in some way, whatever the subject, because writers love to create poems.

In "Rap Music," he has me hooked, then loses me with stupid, easy, annoying rhymes, which may have been his commentary on rap music, but then I love the closing. Hoagland never completely loses me, either. I never want to throw the book. "Suicide Song" describes the little details of life in which to find happiness and affirms the shifting mind of a poet as something beautiful. "Fire," the first Tony Hoagland poem I knew, is still awesome. But then there's "Physiology of Kisses," as preciously lame as it sounds.

The most common imagery is of trains and metaphors using them, but I don't remember any of them offhand. There is a typo on page 66. The last word of the book is "kisses." This is a problem. But what bothered me about parts of Narcissism is that I've seen my teachers and friends do it so much better, and their books are not available yet. This is only about parts of the book; Hoagland obviously knows how to write exceptionally and how to teach, but this book won't stay with me in the way that others have.

I can, however, recommend it. It's a book of range, of different lives and worlds we individually live and know and love, or have no choice but to do so, because we are alive.

031

From the Associated Press via MSN:
Silverman Still Under Fire For Britney Jokes.

But Sarah Silverman was right! That's why it's funny to say that Britney Spears has already accomplished everything she ever will at age 25, because it's true and no one has said it the way Sarah Silverman did after whatever happened in that performance.

Silverman called Britney Spears' children "adorable mistakes." That sucks for the Federline kids and all, but their mother is visibly fucked-up and repeatedly flashes her bare vagina when exiting vehicles, and she is estranged from her own mother/family. The home life of those two little boys seems more damaging to their development than does a comment by a comedian.

Sarah Silverman's comments are not on the same level as, for example, Rush Limbaugh accusing Michael J. Fox of exaggerating his disease. Rush Limbaugh is an unfunny asshole, and Sarah Silverman ranges from a little weird to hilarious. Britney Spears should never have performed or tried to stay in the entertainment business if she was going to perform so terribly, with seemingly no training or preparation, and not expect someone to make fun of her at the fucking MTV Video Music Awards.

Remember when she was dating Justin Timberlake? His career's kinda awesome now.

030

From MSN Entertainment:
Situation Normal: All Messed Up.

I realy enjoyed this article, with one exception: That 70s Show is still a really funny show, dumb-ass.

I had a great conversation yesterday with a friend, wondering about the next big thing. I obviously don't have an answer, or I would afford my own URL for this blog, but I hope it's not another show with ugly, expensive apartments like in Friends. If you're going to make an unrealistic show, at least have some sleek set decoration. If they can afford a multi-million-dollar penthouse loft, they can afford an Eames chair.

029

From Newsweek: Biblical Living: Following Every Rule for One Year.

This guy is crazy.

Also, though I am technically Catholic, I've read some of the Bible, and those stories aren't really all that great.

I'd much rather follow The Sun Also Rises, minus the heartbreak and dysfunction. My mentor, who is a Hemingway scholar among other things, has made that kind of trip more than once. Hemingway conferences are held in those European settings...

Larry, seriously, when are you taking me to Spain and France? I'll finish For Whom the Bell Tolls and the African books, I promise.

The end.

028

I wanted to see something new to me in L.A., so I went to the Museum of Contemporary Art (MOCA) downtown Friday. The museum at 250 South Grand Avenue is currently between exhibitions, so admission was free.

The super-industrial-minimalist chess set by Man Ray (seen here in a disappointing picture) and Joe Goode's Untitled Window Painting really impressed me.

I understood more of what I saw than I thought I would, but there were some pieces that confused me, such as a row of individual squares of mirrored glass, one mirror slightly smaller than the one to its left. There was also a large square painting of red and white stripes, which meant nothing to me and made me feel nothing. Whatever I was missing, I didn't really mind. There were plenty of art students outside drawing the sharp twists of the Walt Disney Concert Hall, so maybe I should have asked them.

Either way, it was nice to explore a little bit of downtown and see more of the city, even if driving downtown is slightly confusing.

027

I'm excited for the new Foo Fighters album, Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace, which will hit stores September 25.

The Foo Fighters are a band I have always kept with me. Ever since the end of Nirvana, I followed what Dave Grohl and Pat Smear and half of Sunny Day Real Estate, whoever they were, put together (I like SDRE a lot, by the way). I loved the self-titled album that Dave Grohl released when I was in fifth or sixth grade, and I bought my first ever band t-shirt with a glow-in-the-dark alien head on the front and the Roswell Records logo on the back. And The Colour and the Shape and There Is Nothing Left to Lose which followed were always, always in my CD Walkman. When my mom was taking summer classes at Kent State University, I would go with my dad every weekend in the family's Mercury Villager to pick her up or take her back. Ignore that I was a mama's boy. Middle school was really, really terrible for me. Anyway, on those drives, I would always play The Colour and the Shape, and that CD was one of the few things I had in the world besides SportsCenter and homework. Seriously, I was miserable. I loved that album, though. It made me forget about being abnormal.

There Is Nothing Left to Lose was released during my freshman year of high school, and I probably listened to it in its entirely at least four times a week. It was a really hopeful-sounding record, and I was feeling that and learning to live without misery.

I didn't buy One by One, but I own it because I have a borrowed copy that I'm never returning. I don't know that record as well, but highlights include "Low," which has a great vibe to it. In Your Honor, the Foos' most recent release featuring a second disc of acoustic songs, went largely unheard by me since I bought it until the past few months. I didn't listen to CDs very often in college because I really didn't have the time, so I mostly had the same one or three playing in my 1991 Civic whenever I drove. Now it's a different story, and the layers of sound on In Your Honor make for a great record. Some of the songs remind me of moments from The Colour and the Shape and There Is Nothing Left to Lose, the high-energy mixed so well with the sweet and sober.

The band grows over every release, their sound evolving and encompassing more and more moods and effects, but there's always something uniquely Foo Fighters through all of it, whatever that means. Dave's voice, in particular, by The Colour and the Shape, showed such a versatility that I knew I was going to love this band for good. Change and versatility and returning to the original energy of Foo Fighters has kept the band's music flowing and true to life. And it's hard to think now that Taylor and Chris weren't originally Foo Fighters.

Some bands are great because they are so groundbreaking and line-blurring that they cannot be easily categorized. Foo Fighters are great because they are exactly what I would give as my example of rock music.

026

From the Santa Rosa Press Democrat:
Nolan allowed to wear suit for eight home games.

This is an article from June, but it is worth discussing.

Mike Nolan, the head coach of the San Francisco 49ers, along with Jack Del Rio of the Jacksonville Jaguars, had to ask permission from the National Football League to wear a suit on the sidelines for a couple games last season. Nolan did it in part as a tribute to his father, and his reason for wanting to wear a suit is really nice, but irrelevant.

He will wear one for the Niners' eight home games this season, a compromise reached with the league. It's a little unclear to me, and Mike Nolan, apparently, whose decision this is to make, but it seems like it should be Mike Nolan's, not Reebok's or the NFL's.

What the hell does Reebok lose if one coach or all coaches on every team wear suits? What if Nolan wears an Armani suit instead of the ones Reebok designed for he and Del Rio last season? The Reebok logo is everywhere already. What is wrong with wanting to look professional? Coaching football is Nolan's job, after all.

Since it looks like it's the NFL's decision, it's ridiculous that any league would prohibit its coaches from presenting themselves as well-groomed professionals.

The NBA has a stupid, stupid rule which disallows players from wearing headbands, and the league makes them wear suits on the bench when they are inactive, because David Stern wants the players to look respectable in the wake of several image problems. The headband rule is ridiculous and won't solve any of the NBA's problems with image or conduct, but the NBA's suit rule is, at most, a silly inconvenience.

Major League Baseball still employs an old rule requiring managers and coaches to wear game uniforms, because only someone wearing a uniform may enter the field. I kinda like that one; it works for baseball.

But the NFL has no right to tell Mike Nolan or any other coach that they are not allowed to wear a suit, at any function. Do they want to be the league helmed by slobs? Even as a fan, I'm going to respect a man who's dressed for business, because I know he means business. The players, I assume, think the same.

025

From MSNBC.com:
Layaway, other changes irk Wal-Mart loyalists.

Wal-Mart customers are surprised that Wal-Mart, one of the largest corporations in the world, cares more about sales than about some of their customers' budgets. Company spokespersons in the article even say that they are pleased with sales that took place as a result of changes.

Many of the people interviewed in this article are upset because they can't afford the same Christmas gifts for their children. While I sympathize with living on a really tight budget (My family still does it), it might be a nice time to explain to impressionable children that the real meaning of the holiday season is not materialism, but togetherness. Even Santa is wearing last year's suit! But that fat bastard is happy because he's hanging out with his wife and elfin-workers.

There are easy ways to save money in your budget: canceling your cable television service for a few months, switching to compact flourescent light bulbs, hang-drying your clothes, and using appliances responsibly by unplugging them when not in use are some of the ways to save some money on your monthly bills, and to pay a little kindness to the environment. This is a small list of suggestions on how to save a little money, and doing some research will undoubtedly uncover a wealth of better ideas.

It's also not uncommon to find items at lower prices elsewhere, by the way. People should be smart and price-compare, rather than accepting a company's motto that their prices are the lowest. And low prices definitely do not guarantee customer satisfaction. But I never liked Wal-Mart, and no overhaul could change my mind.

I understand that it's difficult to explain to your children why they will have fewer presents during the holidays, and feeling inferior to other children who have whatever they want really sucks. But Christmas is only one day, and most parents pay for everything for their children year-round. It's sad that our culture doesn't appreciate that fact nearly enough.

I never had the best of anything as a child, except for soccer shoes (My dad rules!), and soccer and Legos are really the only things I consistently liked. My parents were good people, so I didn't care about owning nice things. And in middle school, I was going to be miserable regardless of what I owned, so I was fairly inexpensive as a child. There are still expensive things that I want to buy, but I'd much rather live simply and love what I do have in the small space in Hollywood that's mine.

Yes, it sucks that old people don't have fabric stores in their small towns, but that's not what I took from this article. Parents should know what their children actually really do like, and any child that opens presents and complains about what they didn't receive deserves the lesson they are learning.

So, Mom and Dad, when are you buying me an iPhone?

024

My friend Courtney helped me realize that I live very, very close to High Voltage Tattoo, featured on LA Ink on The Learning Channel. Maybe I should finally have the tattoos I decided I wanted when I was 17 (I promise, they aren't lame).